HD Awarenes Month: heartbreak and how I heal it

This is something that is really hard for me to share about because I am so passionate about it. However, since I have received so much love and support since starting my blog, I am going to share my whole heart.

Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to be a mom,  I prayed about it every day. Motherhood is everything I thought I was and everything I wanted to be.

As soon as I was old enough  I began baby sitting and formed unbreakable bonds with each and every child. These children are still party of my life today. 

I have just always wanted my own kids. I am deeply passionate about being a mom. 

But then when I started showing HD signs so early, I was immediately heart broken; because of the loss of motherhood. Technically, this is my decision not to have kids. Just because someone has HD doesn't mean they are unable to have children. But for me, I have chosen not to.  I just instantly knew I loved kids too much and did not want to give my kids a sick mom. 

Now with all this heart ache, I could easily be moping in bed. But I believe that does no good. In fact, what has been healing my heart ache is my connection with my nieces and nephews. Their parents are the best cousins I could ask for and they know and understand my decision. To show just how much they love and support me they are always bringing their babies to see me or welcoming me over to their house. I love them for that. 

So even though I have decided that children is not in my future does not mean I can't be apart of other children's lives every day. That's why I get up each day and heal my heart by loving on my nieces And nephews. They light my face up, and make me laugh. I am smitten. 

I also keep believing in finding a cure for HD. I have faith and hope that someday this disease will be no more.  As most of you know, I (along with 40 of my closest friends and family) will be walking for a cure this Saturday! If you would be wiling to Donate to the HDSA I would be ever grateful to you.

Thank you again to my amazing cousins for understanding my decision and sharing their babies with me!

As always thanks for following as I share my journey.

Alex